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Juniper_Tree
 Author    



Rank:Twinkle Twat Boy

Score: 2038

(Date Posted:10/04/2010 4:50 PM)

Lord of the Rings (Bakshi version) Granted it was a fool's errand to try to compress all three, or in this case one and a half, books into a single animated feature. It might have been forgivable if it was at least pretty to look at. It is not. It's so hideous it's almost personally offensive. Blobby, runny reds and browns make up most of the colors and characters look like they're looking into the Ark of the Covenant when they're speaking. Vocal performances are indifferent and it's just a dreary mess.

Ponyo Wow, take about going from famine to feast. In Miyazaki's latest every cel is a framable work of art and the English dubbing is handled with care from some surprising choices. Part of what I love about these films is seeing how another culture handles the supernatural. It's a trip to see characters taking such complete other-worldliness in stride. Because who hasn't had a chat with the Goddess of Mercy under a giant jellyfish dome because her goldfish daughter has become best friends with your son? My Neighbor Totoro might still be my favorite of his but this is absolutely wonderful.
usertype:3
Deeky
1# 



Rank:Gospel Monkey

Score:8421

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/04/2010 8:26 PM)

Up in the Air: being white is hard! 

also difficult: being an incredibly good looking, successful, wealthy, confident, heterosexual male.
usertype:1 tt= 0
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Count0
2# 



Rank:Disco Godfather

Score:796

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/04/2010 11:26 PM)

Birds of Prey, episodes 1 and 2: Imagine that the creative teams behind Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman and Night Man teamed up to make a show about Batman's daughter. And that they decided that Batman Forever and Batman & Robin were the style they wanted to emulate. Now imagine that it's even worse than that sounds. I think the entire series is summed up pretty effectively by the fact that Huntress - Batman and Catwoman's daughter - never wears a mask when she fights crime (not even some Crow makeup or something), and only one person has recognized her. Because why should the daughter of Bruce Wayne, arguably the most famous person in Gotham City (barring Batman or any of the colorful sociopaths who pop up), need to worry about being recognized, right?

On the upside, Huntress' stuntwoman is pretty good at her job. So at least there was one competent person involved in the production of this awful mess.
usertype:3 tt= 0
Juniper_Tree
3# 



Rank:Twinkle Twat Boy

Score:2038

Re:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/05/2010 8:37 PM)

Seriously, I had to keep reminding myself that it was made in 2002 and meant to be one of the big new fall shows for a network, it had all the earmarks of being a mid nineties forgettable Saturday afternoon syndicated series. From the atrocious CGI to Huntress' off the clearance rack at Hot Topic get up to the mostly anonymous cast. You wouldn't think anything would make you appreciate the attention to detail in Smallville but there you go.
usertype:3 tt= 0
portraitinflesh
4# 



Rank:Inquisitor

Score:536

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/05/2010 8:58 PM)

Curse of the Swamp Creature.  More of Larry Buchanan's ping-pong eyeball monster, with John Agar and a guy with a lightbulb-shaped head sweating in the swamp.  There are happy gators doing barrel rolls and some questionable voodoo and spastic dancingAnd, to my little pixie ears, the lightbulb-shaped headed Evil Doctor sounds a lot like Donald Sutherland.  My new cat's tale got bushy and he whacked me repeatedly with it throughout the movie, but at least he didn't leave the room.

Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam
, more commonly known as the Turkish Star Wars.  Frankly, I could've used more Star Wars stock footage and less religious pontification.  Still, it did have its moments (I never knew it was possible to kick boulders and have them explode), and there was music lifted from (at least) Raiders of the Lost Ark, Battlestar Galactica, Flash Gordon, and The Black Hole.  Oh, and Cylon ripoffs and villains who looked like they were covered in the pelts of Animal and/or Elmo.

Yeti, the Giant of the 20th Century.  Yeti (pronounced "Yaytee" repeatedly in the movie) looks like he's a member of the Oak Ridge Boys.  Canada always has a lot to answer for, but entreating the Yeti to leave the Big City and go back to the mountains where he's used to living hardly makes for a satisfying ending.  Oh, and the Industrial Magnate is, for once, not the primary villain.

Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D.  Jeff and I were the only two people in the theater!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Rolling Stones.  ...stop looking at me like that...

Machete.  Bwa-ha-ha!
usertype:3 tt= 0
Marxo_Grouch
5# 



Rank:Crabwise

Score:4140

Re:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/05/2010 11:29 PM)

Reply to portraitinflesh (10/05/2010 8:58 PM)
Yeti (pronounced "Yaytee" repeatedly in the movie) looks like he's a member of the Oak Ridge Boys.  Canada always has a lot to answer for, but entreating the Yeti to leave the Big City and go back to the mountains where he's used to living hardly makes for a satisfying ending.


Maybe they understood that, as the yay-tee, he'd only be happy out in the mountains where he could search for lost tray-zhur.

usertype:3 tt= 0
Chadzilla
6# 



Rank:Oreo Big Stuff

Score:927

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/06/2010 11:13 PM)

Starcrash: Pure, undiluted awesome.  Especially Caroline Munro in her space bikini. 
usertype:3 tt= 0
Juniper_Tree
7# 



Rank:Twinkle Twat Boy

Score:2038

Re:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/07/2010 11:42 AM)

Twister: I Don't Care.

(Message edited by Juniper_Tree On 10/07/2010 11:43 AM)
usertype:3 tt= 0
The_Masked_Claw
8# 



Rank:Divinely Fruity

Score:7436

Reply To Chadzilla
(Date Posted:10/07/2010 3:45 PM)

Reply to Chadzilla (10/06/2010 11:13 PM)

Caroline Munro in her space bikini. 


Oh, Lord, Yes!  They should have simply called it that, and it would have been a humongous international success.
usertype:3 tt= 0
The_Masked_Claw
9# 



Rank:Divinely Fruity

Score:7436

Reply To Juniper%5FTree
(Date Posted:10/07/2010 3:59 PM)

Reply to Juniper_Tree (10/04/2010 4:50 PM)

Ponyo Wow, take about going from famine to feast. In Miyazaki's latest every cel is a framable work of art and the English dubbing is handled with care from some surprising choices. Part of what I love about these films is seeing how another culture handles the supernatural. It's a trip to see characters taking such complete other-worldliness in stride. Because who hasn't had a chat with the Goddess of Mercy under a giant jellyfish dome because her goldfish daughter has become best friends with your son? My Neighbor Totoro might still be my favorite of his but this is absolutely wonderful.


I hate that I passed up the chance to see that in the theater for its abbreviated "visit"(two days!) a number of months ago.  One of those "work-sucks-eternal-____-_____"-moments.  Stupid scheduling...

usertype:3 tt= 0
The_Masked_Claw
10# 



Rank:Divinely Fruity

Score:7436

Reply To portraitinflesh
(Date Posted:10/07/2010 4:23 PM)

Reply to portraitinflesh (10/05/2010 8:58 PM)

Curse of the Swamp Creature.  More of Larry Buchanan's ping-pong eyeball monster, with John Agar and a guy with a lightbulb-shaped head sweating in the swamp.  There are happy gators doing barrel rolls and some questionable voodoo and spastic dancingAnd, to my little pixie ears, the lightbulb-shaped headed Evil Doctor sounds a lot like Donald Sutherland.  My new cat's tale got bushy and he whacked me repeatedly with it throughout the movie, but at least he didn't leave the room.



Worth it alone for sleazy, serpentine delivery of sweaty lightbuld-headed mad doctor guy in crazyhuge glasses.  What a show-stealer!  The plastic skull/tiki-god voodoo ceremonies/subsequent spastic dancing make it all go down stranger.  It's one of many indefensible movies I secretly adore.
usertype:3 tt= 0
The_Masked_Claw
11# 



Rank:Divinely Fruity

Score:7436

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/08/2010 8:09 AM)

We saw Case 39 Wednesday night.  Dug this.  It's got some teeth to it.
 
*SPOILERS*

Kinda reminiscent of the late-70's heyday of creepy kid flicks, with one huge difference.  By the second act, there's no doubt that this kid is a freakin' demon-spawn and deserves to die, making the fillicide at the start seem understandable.  But, I wonder what direction we're headed in if it's okay for kid-killing(?).  I mean, in most previous movies along these lines, there's still some hope that the demon/devil can be expunged from the child.  Not in this feature.  By the third act, I was practically yelling, "Kill the bitch!".

Anyway, some solid scares, and they did a nice job with building the tension/characters before all heck breaks loose.  Solid.
usertype:3 tt= 0
portraitinflesh
12# 



Rank:Inquisitor

Score:536

Re:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/08/2010 10:57 AM)

Reply to Marxo_Grouch (10/05/2010 11:29 PM)
Reply to portraitinflesh (10/05/2010 8:58 PM)
Yeti (pronounced "Yaytee" repeatedly in the movie) looks like he's a member of the Oak Ridge Boys.  Canada always has a lot to answer for, but entreating the Yeti to leave the Big City and go back to the mountains where he's used to living hardly makes for a satisfying ending.


Maybe they understood that, as the yay-tee, he'd only be happy out in the mountains where he could search for lost tray-zhur.


NO!  I refuse to think of playsure whenever Yaytee is involved.

Not even when he makes big puppy dawg eyes at ya.



Last night's viewing was Süpermen dönyür, or the Turkish Superman.  This was loads more fun than the Turkish Star Wars, in that it, you know, had an actual storyline.  (To paraphrase Jeff, "it wasn't just brains and swords and lessons in Islam.")  As far as I could tell, the only lifted music was from 1978's Superman (natch) and various motifs from James Bond (from Diamonds Are Forever, if my memory serves).

And did you know that a lump of Kryptonite looks exactly like a small bar of green glycerin soap? 

usertype:3 tt= 0
Chadzilla
13# 



Rank:Oreo Big Stuff

Score:927

Reply To The%5FMasked%5FClaw
(Date Posted:10/08/2010 7:14 PM)

Reply to The_Masked_Claw (10/07/2010 3:45 PM)

Reply to Chadzilla (10/06/2010 11:13 PM)

Caroline Munro in her space bikini. 


Oh, Lord, Yes!  They should have simply called it that, and it would have been a humongous international success.

Oh, it WAS a humongous international success.  It was also one of New World's top grossers.  30 million in America.
usertype:3 tt= 0
Juniper_Tree
14# 



Rank:Twinkle Twat Boy

Score:2038

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/08/2010 10:39 PM)

Piranha: I saw a 2-D print of the remake at this awesome place. It's been a while since I've seen a movie so aggressively shitty it made me angry. It did not help that I've seen the original so I know you can be gory and silly and have some real wit, not to mention some fine character actors. It also did not help that the screen in the theater was patched into the TV which was showing Aliens. So I watched close to 20 glorious minutes of one of my all time favorites and then they turned it off to start the movie proper. The few things that worked, Christopher Lloyd, Elizabeth Shue as a surprsingly kickass action heroine just highlighted the rest sucking like a wet vac. But I think it can be good sometimes to get blindsided by a fetid open cinematic sore like this. It makes you appreciate the movies that work all the more. For me that means making time in the next few days to curl up under a blanket with a cup of chamomile tea and watch Aliens. A pox on this movie.
usertype:3 tt= 0
Count0
15# 



Rank:Disco Godfather

Score:796

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/08/2010 11:17 PM)

Birds of Prey: "Split" - Huntress teams up with an Angel cosplayer who occasionally shapeshifts into the bad guy from Cobra. The writers also try to bring in some of the secret identity duality that comes up in comics, but that doesn't really work when there's absolutely no difference between Huntress and her civilian identity.
usertype:3 tt= 0
Marxo_Grouch
16# 



Rank:Crabwise

Score:4140

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/09/2010 12:37 AM)

There are actually quite a few movies I watched while the old Mez was still active that I never got around to mentioning there, so I'll have to plumb the depths of my memory to get them all back.

We'll start with any easy one, actually three easy ones. I finally got around to watching the entire LotR trilogy, and I have to say, I was impressed. I'd only seen the first one before this (which is appropriate since I'd only ever read the first book), and it struck me quite a bit that it could have alternately been called Save Frodo, since he seemed to get himself into peril that others had to pull his hobbit ass out of over and over again. But watching the entire thing in segments over the course of a week or so, I was constantly entertained. What's more, finally having gotten past Part One, I now know what all of the fuss over Gollum was. Man, that was impressive. In fact, the whole thing was, pretty much. I'm sure if I reflected further I'd be able to think of things that were less impressive, but taken as a whole, yeah, I liked it.
usertype:3 tt= 0
The_Masked_Claw
17# 



Rank:Divinely Fruity

Score:7436

Reply To Juniper%5FTree
(Date Posted:10/09/2010 9:25 AM)

Reply to Juniper_Tree (10/08/2010 10:39 PM)

Piranha: I saw a 2-D print of the remake at this awesome place. It's been a while since I've seen a movie so aggressively shitty it made me angry. It did not help that I've seen the original so I know you can be gory and silly and have some real wit, not to mention some fine character actors. It also did not help that the screen in the theater was patched into the TV which was showing Aliens. So I watched close to 20 glorious minutes of one of my all time favorites and then they turned it off to start the movie proper. The few things that worked, Christopher Lloyd, Elizabeth Shue as a surprsingly kickass action heroine just highlighted the rest sucking like a wet vac. But I think it can be good sometimes to get blindsided by a fetid open cinematic sore like this. It makes you appreciate the movies that work all the more. For me that means making time in the next few days to curl up under a blanket with a cup of chamomile tea and watch Aliens. A pox on this movie.

Hrmph!  You're obviously delirious!  Pirahna 3-D is perhaps the greatest cinematic experience since...since...Food of the Gods 2!
usertype:3 tt= 0
Marxo_Grouch
18# 



Rank:Crabwise

Score:4140

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/09/2010 7:18 PM)

My father and stepmother went to Turkey a while back, and among the souvenirs they brought back for me were two DVDs my father bought there. One for was a movie called Yol, which means 'jail.' It's about a bunch of convicts who are released on furlough, I guess would be the best way to put it, so they can visit their families, attend to their business, etc. They are instructed that they are to report back to prison by such and such a date, otherwise warrants will be issued for their arrests and the consequences will be severe. I was aware of this film because we had had a copy at the video store, although I never got around to watching it. I don't know if it represents modern Turkish culture accurately (it was made in 1982), but it's very interesting nonetheless. The stories of the assorted convicts that it alternately follows illustrate different aspects of society, and naturally our good friend Islam plays a significant role in at least two of the tales, one of which is tragic and the other of which is really tragic.

The other movie is called Dabbe and is definitely a modern production. In fact, it was suggested to me by the box art, and became all the more apparent as I watched the film, that this was a Turkish attempt to make a J-horror flick. (More on that later.) A couple friends become concerned when one of their other friends doesn't show up for work and when they investigate, they find out he's been screwing around on the internet and seems to have unleashed some sort of supernatural force. The production is kind of cheap, but it's atmospheric and the scares work pretty well. I have to say that my ability to take the film seriously was hampered a bit by the fact that whoever did the English subtitles was clearly not a native speaker. I mean, this was a DVD released within Turkey after all, so it's not surprising, but if you're going to do English subtitles, presumably you're either doing them for people who speak English or people who would like to learn to speak English and these titles wouldn't have served either of those groups well. It was seriously as if they gave someone a Turkish to English dictionary and maybe a basic grammar book and told them to do what they could. As a result, much of the dialogue comes off as screamingly funny. If I find a chance to sit through it again any time soon, I'll take notes, because some of the lines really are that hilarious.

And, as if that weren't enough, in an instance of pure coincidence, I was getting some DVDs from the local library about a week after I'd watched Dabbe and happened to choose Kiroshi Kurosawa's Pulse, having previously seen his Cure and liking it quite a bit. Within the very first scene of Pulse, it dawned on me that Dabbe was clearly a direct remake, or reimagining (or rip-off, as we know the Turks love to do) of Pulse. The story of Dabbe eventually veers off on its own course, including mixing in a little Islamic lore, but some of the early scenes are practically direct lifts from Pulse. The chief difference is in tone; Dabbe, despite its origins, comes off much more in the vein of Ju-On and the like, whereas Pulse is consistent with Kurosawa's far more subtle style of horror.
usertype:3 tt= 0
Chadzilla
19# 



Rank:Oreo Big Stuff

Score:927

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/10/2010 11:59 AM)

Masters of Horror: Sounds Like:  A grieving father is driven insane by sound.  Wow.  I mean, wow.  Brad Anderson and Chris Bauer knocked one out of the park with this one.  Subtle, sad and, at the appropriate times, really nasty.  There really needs to be more horror like this.
usertype:3 tt= 0
Mayzshon
20# 



Rank:Pain Stuffer

Score:1816

RE:Recently Viewed Fights Back From The Grave
(Date Posted:10/10/2010 4:01 PM)

It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown, aka, Crap, We're Running Out of Holidays, Charlie Brown. Tha gang plants trees and stuff on Charlie Browns field which almost leads to a baseball victory.  Features some nice bits with Linus and Lucy's youngest brother Rerun.  Like Zeppo, Rerun is over-shadowed by, but in some ways funnier than his more famous siblings.
usertype:3 tt= 0
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