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Are You Walking on Eggshells with Jekyll & Hyde?
for Survivors of a Narcissist, Psychopath, Sociopath, Emotional Abuse, Verbal Abuse
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Posts: 4

(Date Posted:08/07/2013 9:23 AM)

Sadistically, they tremendously enjoy theirability to frustrate the desires, passions and sexual wishes of women. It makesthem feel omnipotent and self-righteous. Narcissists regularly frustrate allwomen sexually – and significant women in their lives both sexually andemotionally....  Sam Vaknin

I think the hardest emotional experience that I am havingtrouble with is the rejection. The narcissist ability to make me feel worthlessand unattractive. I have tried my best to move past these feelings ofrejection and I cant seem to shake it.I do believe that this could contributeto me sticking around. Waiting for him to grant me validation. It seem that hehas taken something from me at my very core and I cant seem to make since of itenough to move on.

Is he conscious of what he has done to me?  I"m sure considering he told me one time he doesn’tknow how I’m going to get through “this” because I’m either suicidal orwill have a nervous break down. And what is “this” that I’m going through…..did he know the whole time that he was going to hurt me.  I meanwho says that? What is the goal in trying to ruin a person’s soul? How do youover come the ruins of it when you are not capable of walking away? Its almostas if I’m shell shock?    



(Date Posted:08/08/2013 5:26 AM)

Beloved, you ask some very pertinent questions.  Before I comment, I want you to know that these people are really, really disordered.  Full stop. No doubt about it Beloved.  So I guess if you take that into consideration, nothing they do makes sense to us "normal" people.  My XNS was brought up in a religious cult. (Quite a well known one.....if the truth be told, worldwide in fact, very poplular ....etc etc. ).  That is my take on it anyway.  It has been a major factor in male sexualtity.....don't know if you know the phrase that women are God's Police or Goddamn Whores (ponder on that one Beloved).

Anyhow, yes, these people do stuff up our sexual lives,  whether they belong to a church or not, they certainly don't want any of us to have a "normal" sex life.  Just another way of controlling us.  I think they have major problems with that, in a way it renders them pretty much "helpless"....their desires are thwarted by women and that is just not on.  They cannot possibly feel under control of a woman, so to avoid that, they need to control their desires (and the partner's) to make sure they have control over that to.  Well that has been my experience anyway.  I am sure there is a whole pathology we could study about such, but to be honest it was enough to experience it and it's devastating affect on me that I could just vomit.  You probably could too.  Anyway, just on a personal note, my sexual life was pretty much ok and good with my husband.  It was a mutual thing. Nothing out of the ordinary....but then again, certainly not anything like disorderly sick stuff.    It certainly wasn't about power or  sickness...just love.
Hope this helps.  You met a seriously disordered person who really tried to destroy you girl.  Leave it behind.  It wasn't about was about him.

Never forget that.

Lizzy  xxx 


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(Date Posted:08/08/2013 5:54 AM)

Sorry....didn't address the "rejection" part Beloved.  FOO issues just keep chasing us about the planet...and then some.  Me too, I still deal with rejection issues....I made up my mind at 4yrs old (and I remember it very clearly) that my mum's favourite was my older sister...and that my dad (who came into my bedroom and pulled the blankets off me and told me if I didn't stop crying he would give me something to cry about) was someone I needed to be scared about and needed to please big time, if I were to survive ( in my child's mind) then I better pull my head in.   There you have it.  I feel I it has dogged me all my life.  Like many of us here,  we just didn't get the chance to grow up in a safe and secure environment, where we didn't have to "please people" to  think we may survive. Really basic stuff.  Really really basic stuff.  Hence the people pleasers. 

Hope that helps too.

Lizzy  xxx  

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(Date Posted:08/08/2013 8:38 AM)

First off, you cannot be rejected by a reject.

I know this hurts and I understand the feelings you are experiencing now because I  felt the same after it ended with the narcissisist I was involved with.

It is very important to put what happened into perspective. While we are hurting emotionally it is also important to look at this logically.

The narcissist has the abilty to discard and dismiss others as though they never exisited thus making them feel worthless and causing a severe blow to the self esteem.

I am sure you are aware of the perpetual cycle of idealization, devaluation and discard that are hallmark characterics of this disorder, each phase designed to suck you in, keep you hanging on as your self esteem is systematically eroded and finally complete and total rejection making us feel worthless and at fault for not being good enough.

The sad truth is you were not in a relationship with a normal human being......the hurt you are feeling is very real but the relationship wasn't.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make you whole again but I can't. But what I can do is tell you without any doubt that if you stay away from him the fog will clear and you will see the truth and you will start your healing.

Lots of hugs to you,
usertype:6 tt= 0

(Date Posted:09/17/2013 9:33 AM)


 Beloved you are not alone. Many times I felt rejected by my exN and always told "him" I don't feel as if I exist in your life. He would just look at me and smile. I know for me it was only a matter of time before I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Until one day I decided to not only change my email and number which was the best thing I could of done, because now I know he can't contact me at all and that was the whole purpose of it! And I made a conscious decision to never return back ever again. The first cut is the deepest, NC is the KEY! For me being in denial is a smoke screen to pollute our minds. I encourage you to keep your head up because every day will become easier and a brighter day! Who needs these "LOSERS"!!!!!

I just want to give you hugs (((((((((((((((((((((Beloved)))))))))))))))))))))))))

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