Loss & Belongings Part 2

As Watari was driving the car back to headquarters, you had thanked him before going off into thought. No words had been really said but he did speak up breaking that silence.

Watari spoke," Are you all right?"

You nodded, making sure that he did not notice that you felt uneasy.

You replied," I'll be fine Watari but I could not even explain why I just had to get out of there. I couldn't forgive myself for what happened to Ukita."

Watari replied," Guilt is quite normal. Even L had felt upset."

You questioned," With the way he always act?"

It was hard to believe that L even felt what the others felt when he died. You place a hand to your face, not even bothering to really care if tears were still threatening to spill. You felt upset and there was so many things going on considering that Ukita was not the only one that died. You realized that if you worked in the case further with L, it could result in death.

After a short time, you came back to headquarters with Watari behind you. Matsuda, being as cheerful as ever despite a loss was there to greet you once you came in. Aizawa was there after making his trip to the station since he had some contacts that support him.

Matsuda said,"Welcome back."

You just merely nodded, almost having a grim look on your face. Still, it did help to at least have one officer that can still show a bit of cheer in his voice. You knew Matsuda did not like to see anyone down at this point. Still, it was clear that he did seem to miss Ukita. You just hoped that Aizawa was all right.

L seemed to be elsewhere, having something sweet as you take a deep breath. You saw Aizawa at a table reading over some folders while you walked over. You seemed a bit shaky but had to remain strong. You knew that you had made your choice but you had to tell L. A noise was heard as you see L was in the chair.

Aizawa barely looked up as you came over. You could not find a single word to say to him as L spoke up.

L spoke," I see you made it back in one piece."

You turn and walk a few steps forward while looking at the chair.

You replied," I'm sorry for leaving."

L replied," It doesn't matter now. Mr.Yagami retrieved some evidence from the scene. He is all right but it's unfortunate that Ukita was lost."

You frowned.

You spoke," Still, it feels like you're writing off his death as if it was nothing important. If it wasn't for him, we couldn't of confirmed that Kira was outside that station."

L replied," True but we won't know anything until I study the tapes."

Placing your hand into a fist, you finally spoke up, letting some frustration out.

You spoke," I cannot work like this L and if I think what you are thinking, I got a feeling on what you are about to do even if you go through those tapes. I already drawn my own conclusions and unfortunately, I'm withdrawing from this case."

Aizawa and Matsuda were shocked while Mr.Yagami was resting on the couch.

Matsuda asked," Are you serious?"

Aizawa was further stunned by your words considering he knew that you were dedicated to this case.

Aizawa exclaimed," You should hear what you're saying!"

You did not even look at him.

You continued," I'm sorry that we must part at a time like this but after Ukita's death, I came to the conclusion of what might happen next and I don't intend to risk getting my real name revealed even if no one really knows it."

You start to walk towards the door, touching the knob.

L only said," Very well and thanks your name."

You opened the door and left. Aizawa frowned.

Aizawa spoke," I'm going after her."

L replied," She had made her choice Aizawa-san. I don't know what conclusions she drawn but it can be assumed that she doesn't want to be on the case even if she might be concerned of the outcome."

Mr.Yagami, hearing the noise decided to step in.

L answered," Your name-san has left the Kira case."

That did not sit well with Yagami even if he knew you suspected his son as well to be Kira. Aizawa had his arms crossed.

Soichiro demanded,"Why did she leave the case L?"

Matsuda exclaimed," Take it easy chief. You are going to stress yourself out further."

Aizawa replied," Matsuda's right."

Soichiro takes a deep breath while sitting on the couch instead of laying down.

Aizawa told Soichiro," All we know is that she drawn her own conclusions and just left. Still, I think I can get her to change her mind so we can both get Kira for what he did to Ukita."

Aizawa went towards the door, determined to get you back on the case. You knew that L might of found you a bit too observant but it did seem to help in the case in a sense. Still as he turned the knob, he mentioned that he would be right back after taking his cell phone just in case and took off after you.

You were already outside after taking the elevator which made you even more uncomfortable. As you got outside, a hand went to your mouth as you felt your stomach threatening to empty its contents onto the sidewalk. After a few seconds, you caught your breath, unaware that Aizawa was on his way out.

You make your way from the hotel in order to take a 8 block stroll back to the station since there was no where else you could go. It was already starting to get late and you were certain that the officers were done investigating Sakura TV or even left a few officers behind.

You did not get far from the hotel when you suddenly hear a voice.

A voice yelled," Wait!"

Your body stiffened as you realized that it was Aizawa. He did not take the news well as you could see that he had came to talk to you. You turned as he caught up to you. He looked at your face while he caught his breath.

You exclaimed," Aizawa!"

He looked at you while getting close.

Aizawa asked," Why did you decide to leave now? Is it because of what happened?"

You replied," It wasn't just Ukita's death but if I think I got a good idea of what L intends to do next."

He questioned," What do you mean?"

He knew that you could sometimes think ahead on situations which might be the reason why you are a valuable officer. You knew that not many officers could catch on and sometimes you wonder how you do it without getting the others annoyed at you for making observations based on a situation.

You still felt sick so you had to tell him how you felt now before going back to the station.

You answered," He probably has some sort of plan but trust me, I think it is better you find out from him. Even if I do trust you Aizawa, I cannot continue with the way L is doing things. It has gotten wreckless in a sense."

He couldn't blame you for stating the situation to be rather wreckless since L had not completely thought things through but no one expected that sudden hostage situation at the station. Aizawa saw a bit of an uneasy look in your eyes and placed a hand on your shoulder.

Aizawa spoke," Ukita wouldn't want us to give up on this case."

You lowered your gaze.

You replied softly," I know but I think it would be best if I left the case incase L does something that puts our names at risk. Besides, you know that I will try my best to help on the outside. You know that I can easily figure out things without letting any bad things get in the way. L may be a serious detective but it feels like it's a game to him. Our lives are not a game Aizawa and there might be a point where everyone we know could get into danger sooner or later."

You sounded so serious but on the inside, it was hurting you because even if you were trying not to come off as angry, you trusted Aizawa with your life to not let you get hurt. You didn't want to leave him on that case with only Mogi, L, Matsuda, Mr.Yagami and Watari. Aizawa knew that there was no use debating on this.

You added," If you want Aizawa, I can still continue the investigation outside and report to you."

He thought for a second but shook his head.

Aizawa told you," It's all right. You did all you can do for us and even if I don't approve of you leaving,  I do support you on your choice. L may be different from us but hopefully we can get the kira case solved before anyone else loses their life.

He applied pressure to your shoulder as he could tell you were trembling.

Aizawa suggested," You should take a break. Ukita's loss has hit us all hard but trust me, I intend to avenge Ukita."

A tear fell down your face as he saw it. He was taken offguard as you touched his arm even if you were tempted to hug him.

Aizawa asked," Are you okay?"

You had to nearly shake your head as he touched your arm. He knew that you were bothered by the loss of Ukita so he decided not to say anything more about it. You take a deep breath.

You said," I got to go Aizawa. I wish you guys the best of luck."

You moved your arm only for your suit jacket top to slide down a bit. He was at a loss as you backed away two steps. He was about to stop you when you turn and ran. The uneasy feeling only got worse as he was yelling at you. You knew it was rude to just run off but he would probably understand why soon enough.

You only yell," Goodbye Aizawa!"

Aizawa was about to go after you but somehow stopped himself. Still, he did seem upset as his cell phone went off which made him realize that L was just calling him back in. Aizawa nearly groaned but answered his phone and made it clear to L that he would be in there shortly.

You were breathing almost too fast as you ran down the sidewalk while not even looking back. It was already getting dark and L might be letting the officers go off for the night. You knew which way you were going but didn't seem to care. While you were running, you had some flashbacks of your time with Ukita. You knew it was never easy but as an officer, you had to place feelings aside and move on. Still, it was just something that would linger in your mind since the two of you had been like brother and sister.

Ukita was quite the character because despite his smoking, he got the job done and manged to slip in a few jokes. He was possibly one of the nicest guys you met. He did seem to come off as tough but it was proven that he knew how to get under a criminal's skin when it was time to question criminals. You remember how he actually made a criminal cry while you were with him but he knew when to make a person vunerable.

The only thing that kind of bothered you was his smoking habit and yet when he flirted with you a bit, it did not bother you. Those memories would stay with you but it was all you had besides a few photographs. You told yourself that you would never forget him for as long as you lived.

Time had passed as you made it to the big building that was the police station. Still, you were tired and feeling a bit sick to the stomach. You had tried to keep focus while you walked to the door. Running all that way had you exhausted. As you slowly make your way, someone had walked out and gasped in surprise.

Reacting to the noise, you looked up and saw Hideki Ide. He must of just came out for air or something which seemed unlike him. Your suit jacket had fallen down to your elbow and you were clearly exhausted as a hand went to your mouth.

Ide exclaimed," Your name!"

It almost felt like slow motion. You had almost thrown up on the sidewalk in front of the station but dizziness took over as you suddenly felt faint.

You started," Hi..Hide..."

You did not get far as he ran over just in time to catch you as your vision blurred as your legs gave out. His arms got around you while you landed against his body on one side. He tried to get a response by tapping your face but you were already starting to pass out. Your ears could no longer hear his voice as the last thing you saw was his concerned face before passing out.

Ide realized that there was no way you would wake up now as he knew that something had happened. He kind of felt uncomfortable as it took him a moment to compose himself before he picked you up into his arms and managed to get you into the station with some help from another officer who happened to be in the lobby. From there, Ide only hoped that you would wake up so he could find out what happened.

Loss & Belongings
by Sonar

Hideki Ide had felt very uncomfortable with the fact that he had to carry you into the station after having to catch your body.At the moment, he had recalled just managing to get you into a room instead of letting other officers take over. He could of left and came back later but there was some concern on his part even if he took his duty as an officer seriously.

He had kept himself busy by reading while waiting for you to show some signs of waking up.  In his mind, it was a relief that no one had said a word about him carrying you in at all though he was sure that they were thinking it inside their heads instead of saying it out loud. As he was in the room, it just felt rather quiet as a sigh escaped him.

Secretly, he had been working on the case but not many of the officers knew that including you and the others that had been working with L. He could not trust L considering that it did appear that he had appeared to be so focused on capturing Kira that he did not care what happened to everyone else.

He had found himself in his thoughts but wondered if L had done something to upset you because from what he knew, you wouldn't just do something unless you figured it out first. From what he knew, he was expecting something to happen very soon. He had wanted to find out as much as he could about the Kira case and hopefully, you would be the one to tell him even if L made you guys promise not to tell anyone.

As the time ticked back, he looked up and seen that about 20 minutes had passed. He got up to his feet and stretched his body to keep it from going numb.

Ide thought," Maybe there was a reason she left."

He was about to sit back down when a sudden noise caused him to let out a noise of surprise.

Ide questioned," Huh?"

He looked towards your body and heard another noise as you were trying to wake up.

Ide thought," Is she waking up or having a nightmare? I better check this out."

He came over to your body and to make sure that you did not get up, he quickly placed a hand near your shoulder. You did not have your eyes open yet. Your body was part way up as you try to open your eyes.

Ide questioned," Are you awake?"

Your vision was very blurry and a voice had called out to you. Were you alive or dead? Your hand moved in an attempt to find your forehead but you felt an arm instead. Ide had felt your hand touching his arm before seeing it slide under his to touch your forehead. By then, he had moved his arm while your eyelids blinked twice.

You started," What ha..."

Ide cuts in to reveal his appearance.

Ide replied," Your name."

You nearly jumped if he had not got your body to go back down. A hand had almost went to your mouth. It was strange but you almost did not recall what had happened while your vision cleared up. The last thing you saw was nearly hitting pavement and Ide's face when he was trying to get you to respond.

A swallowing sound came from your mouth as you almost thought that you were going to throw up. Still, you seem to becoming aware that you were not where you last were before passing out. Ide had called your name once more so you turned your head a bit.

Ide called," Your name!"

You had almost shown shock as he stopped himself from doing anything more. He felt some relief even if his shoulders looked rather tense.

You questioned," Ide?"

You almost moved but decided against it very fast. He had almost sighed while you take a deep breath.

Ide spoke," You had me worried for a moment there."

Could you blame him? Not really. Everyone was like that and no one could deny their feelings.

You asked," Why?"

He moved his hand without knowing and adjusted his tie.

He replied," You collasped outside the station."

You realized that you were at the station because it just happened to be the place you arrived at. At least you knew that it was not Kira that got you. Still, no one knew your real name at all because you used an alias even before you got transferred.

You asked," We're at the station right?"

He nodded in response. He moved away, grabbed the chair and moved it in closer before sitting down.

Ide spoke," Do you feel all right now?"

You replied," Somewhat."

Ide gave you a questionable look so you clarified it for him. Even if you do not like causing people to be concerned for you, it was still quite normal to still see it. Besides, you were opening up further so you knew that you had to explain yourself.

You continued," I was trying not to get sick."

There was a bit of guilt in your eyes and he caught it before you looked away.

Ide spoke," I think you know something that you are not even wanting to talk about."

You shook your head before making an attempt to sit up by using your elbows. The dizzy feeling you had earlier was not really there.

You said," It's not that but..."

You didn't mean to trail off as tears almost threatened to form. Still, you were doing your best to keep professional as you managed to sit up. Your legs moved over the thing that you happened to be laying on.

Ide said," But what?"

Sometimes he did not have consideration for feelings at time but it did appear that he had his way of showing it. You were about to talk when he frowned.

Ide spoke sternly," If you have something to say, you better say it because I know that it seemed odd that you suddenly show up when you were working with the person I refused to trust."

His tone of voice could of nearly scared you but somehow, you just tensed. Could you tell him what happened? He knew something was up based on his skills of observation.

Ide said," How many times do I have to tell you that you can talk to me when you need someone. I know it hasn't been long since that incident at the Sakura TV station took place but there's no reason to hide something that could interfere with your life and your duty."

He watched you as you felt a bit surprised. He was concerned and it clearly showed despite him looking serious.

You said," Hideki."

You knew that it meant alot to have someone to talk to but from the way that he looks at you, it was not exactly easy for him. To his surprise, a tear fell down your face.You didn't want to break down as he hesitated to show any signs of comforting you even if it was just the two of you.

You confessed," I went to the hospital to see Ukita's body."

His mouth parted a bit as there was shock. He had no idea that you left the Kira case yet. He wondered why you would do something like that.

You continued," I didn't mean to leave but it was hard when I tried to stop him. He left before..."

You couldn't keep it together as tears were threatening to fall. Your hand was shaking as Ide had placed a hand on your shoulder.

He reminded you," Breathe."

He applied pressure to your shoulder while you were still looking into his dark eyes.  It took you a few seconds before you made an attempt to speak.

You said," I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I tried to stop him. Still, I wished that it wasn't him."

Ide sighed softly and removedhis hand off your shoulder. Still, he saw the pain in your eyes. He was not as dense as people assumed he was. He takes a deep breath before talking to you.

Ide spoke softly," Things cannot be predicted and what he had did was in the name of duty. No one ever expects death to happen but he won't be forgotten."

There was a question that did come to his mind. He wanted to know if you were planning to go back to L or if there was something more. You knew that it could of been anyone. Ukita had been dedicated despite his age.

Ide continued," We cannot blame ourselves for the actions of others even if it was wreckless."

You bit your lower lip and nodded because you knew he was right. He knew that the pain doesn't fade away easily but anything can happen in time. His body relaxed a bit as his eyes said it all.

You said," You're right but because of it, I made a realization."

Ide questioned," And what was that?"

You wiped some stray tears off your face. It just felt so serious.

You answered," I had made my own conclusions about this case and felt that it would be best if I left the investigation."

You were standing up and nearly got dizzy again while Ide was taken offguard.

Ide questioned," You left L?"

You nodded and managed a few steps before standing beside the chair he was in.

You told him," Despite him being a detective, I feel he's a bit wreckless and if he is planning to do what I think he is going to do, I don't want to be there even though I'm worried that something might happen to the other officers."

Ide jumped to his feet and made you turn to face him.

Ide demanded," What are you talking about? What conclusion did you come to?"

You had almost forgotten to breathe as your body could not relax. He almost looked mad but he wanted to know.

You replied," I couldn't tell you Ide. Besides, the officers were told to not get involved."

What you did not realize that he might of had an ace up his sleeve to get you to talk.

Ide told you," It's true but I have to admit that you have no idea of what I have been up to since you and the others went to work with L. Besides, I did say that I refused to work with L."

You were confused.

You asked," What are you getting at?"

He admitted," I'm working on the Kira case in secret."

You were surprised and while making a step back, he had to grab your arm because you nearly fell. You let out a noise and while he was getting you up, the two of you got cauht in an awkward situation because the two of you got a bit too close for comfort. Silence had followed but the two of you were blushing.

You managed to say," Thanks."

You managed not to stumble on words as your hand was on his top while the other one was in his hold. He moved his arm down as you did not want to move away from his body for some reason. He silently gulped and was close to pushing you away while saying nothing at first. Your cheeks clearly had color to them as you managed to look up. He was blushing as well as he cleared his voice.

Ide replied," Yo..Your welcome."

Carefully, he moved his arms and got you to move away even though it was not exactly that uncomfortable. Still, you knew that it was a violation of personal space. What happened from here was anyone's guess.

Ide questioned," Since you are not working with L, how about you help and give any details you have on the case including your observations?"

He noticed that you were still blushing but your face soon turned to normal. He had to admit that catching you like that was a bit interesting.

I asked," Are you sure?"

Ide replied," I know that you had worked with L so you can give some details."

You nod," I guess even though I am not sure what will happen. There was so much details and I think there is more to it Hideki. Even if L told us not to reveal anything, I do trust you enough and I will give you any information."

Trust was an important thing and he had earned that right. He smirked before looking at the clock.The clock was reading past 11:30 at night.

Ide replied," It's already getting late and if you had woke up sooner, I wonder if we would be having this conservation."

You chuckled even if you knew that it was not a joke.

You joked," I would probably be telling you much more sooner as well.Still, do you want to know what happened now or later?"

He answered," We will have to wait until tomorrow. Besides, too much excitement has happened tonight. I'm getting off duty soon so I'll give you a ride. We can talk tomorrow even if I would like to get my hands on that information."

You asked," What's stopping you?"

Ide replied," The fact that we both need some sleep."

He watched as your hand touched his arm.

You said," There is alot to discuss but I can already tell you that I will explain what happened after Ukita's death. I probably wouldn't of left but I can see why you didn't trust L even if you have not met him in person."

Ide nodded while touching your arm to remove it.

You continued,"At least I know who I can trust."

Before he could remove your arm, you moved it. However, you surprised him by moving in closer and kissing him on the cheek. He felt a chill down his neck while his cheeks turned color. It was a bit amusing so you chuckled.

He questioned," Was that really necessary?"

You manage to stop laughing for a second.

You joked," At least no one can say that you're hopeless in romance."

He was so tempted to smack you but he knew you were joking. He would figure a way to get even since he did not do such things as getting payback on someone.

Ide asked," Can you walk all right?"

You nodded," Could we please leave Ide? By the way, I won't tell anyone what happened in here all right?"

Ide was tempted to grumble but composed himself.

Ide warned," You better not otherwise you might find more paperwork on your desk."

You replied," You know I can keep a secret. Besides, I trust you with my life since you helped me to adjust here."

He saw you walk to the door on your own. It was a relief that you were not falling because there was no way that he would carry you down the stairs. You opened the door and he had soon followed you. However, he stopped by the door. You thought he would of gotten mad with the romance joke but it did not phase him yet.

You saw him relax as the two of you left the room. As you walked down the hallway, he had told you something in your ear which caused you to blush. He mentioned something that you looked more calmer when asleep than awake. You were sure that it was not meant as an attempt to flirt with you but they always say that it is always the person you least expect. At least he did not get mad over a joke. From there, you would work with him on this case and expose things about the Kira case that he might of not known about. Still, it could be wondered if this was a romance in the making or just a close friendship.

-The end-